peevesies:

i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life

library-of-crazy-221b:

niknak79:

He’s tripping on acid

I tried to scroll past

library-of-crazy-221b:

niknak79:

He’s tripping on acid

I tried to scroll past

airagorn:

dumb story because i think i’m funny

we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered

‘hot wheels’

lobotomyfail:

The anatomy of a Chihuahua.

lobotomyfail:

The anatomy of a Chihuahua.

trillow:

i’m coming last in the human race

primroseonfire:

GOD DAMMIT COLE

primroseonfire:

GOD DAMMIT COLE

although:

awesomephilia:

This little kid fell and the seal seemed to be very worried about her

aww

although:

awesomephilia:

This little kid fell and the seal seemed to be very worried about her

aww

mre407:

I feel like this snake just told a bad joke and is waiting for a laugh..

mre407:

I feel like this snake just told a bad joke and is waiting for a laugh..

How do I sit in my bed for the rest of my life but also become a billionaire at the same time

chauvinistsushi:

bedhead-and-cigarettes:

finalblessing:

will smith everybody

he’s so aggressively proud and determined to direct attention to his wife and son. first he’s like, LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY AND STRENGTH AND POWER AND SHE AGREED TO MARRY ME,  and then with his son, he’s like LOOK, I MADE A THING, AND I AM PROUD OF THIS THING THAT I MADE.

I MADE A THING